My Client’s Experience
A few months ago, a concerned parent rang to consult with me about their son, Ronald. “He’s a smart boy,” a chirpy but serious sounding woman told me. “Doing good in his study for his final year exams but he knows he can do better. He just can’t focus for very long. Procrastinates endlessly and is now talking about redoing the year. He wants to be a programmer, a game developer I think.” We chatted about how I could help and arranged a session.
I waited for Ronald to appear on screen for our first session. He was 5 minutes late. I normally give it between 5 and 10 minutes before I contact clients directly reminding them of our session.
Suddenly he appeared holding a large ginger cat. We made small talk about the cat then I asked if it was necessary for therapy?
“No, I just like him,” said Ronald as he nervously flicked the edge of his reading glasses. I was fine with that.
Talking to Ronald, it appeared he was doing not just good but great in his preliminary grades for his final exam. A few more questions unearthed that he actually wanted to get top grades in all his subjects.
“Are you sure you need to get those high marks to get on the programming course?” I asked.
The cat purred as he scratched its ear. “No. Of course not. I just want to be seen as the smartest guy in class. I want to be remembered as that guy.” He nodded his head sagely. “It makes me work harder.”
“So, you are doing this to make yourself feel better? To boost your ego? You’re saying your heightened sense of self-worth makes you work harder?”
Ronald smiled like he was the cat that got all the cream. “Yes.”
“Talking to your mother, she said you’re procrastinating about studying and even thinking of redoing the year?”
“Yes,” he said slowly. “It’s weird. Lately, I’m finding myself so tired but then I’m not able to sleep properly.”
Sighing, he continued. “I love reading. Now I’m reading these great fantasy books, but I can’t remember the words I’m reading. I have to go back over the pages to take it in. Same problem with some of my school subjects.”
It wasn’t hard to tell that trying to be the smartest guy in class had worn him out.
Tapping into his ego as energy would only work for so long. Like using willpower alone to try and stay on a diet, the energy runs out after awhile.
Connecting to his sense of perceived future self-worth was draining his energy. Striving for others’ positive view was ultimately just not making him happy.
So, Therapy Began
Working on procrastination. Self-worth. Perfectionism. Relaxation and study techniques. Each session wrapped up in discussing what did he really want. What got him excited. How he would like to feel in the future and what was the best way to achieve this working with his talents now.
After 4 sessions in which we had used BWRT, hypnotherapy and CBT, Ronald had let go of needing outside validation. He recognised that he was already doing enough to get into the programming course and didn’t need to be so hard on himself.
Surprisingly, he decided to take a year out. Instead of going straight from school to university he would get a job in a family member’s programming company. Learn the basics. Understand the environment. Mature another year.
All this clarity and positive well-being had a profound effect on his health. Ronald slept better. Ate better. Took up running. He didn’t even have the cat in our last two sessions.
Below are the general guidelines I use with clients experiencing exam stress or test anxiety. Each client’s individual needs are then taken into consideration. We can use more or less of the guidelines then decide what therapies and techniques best suit the individual issue.
Working through the guidelines below can be useful for reducing exam stress by yourself, especially with the support of friends, family or study groups.
Managing Exam or Test Stress and Anxiety – Causes, Signs and Self-Help
As a therapist, I see clients who are weighed down by exam stress or test anxiety on a regular basis. It can seem overwhelming, disrupting their physical and emotional well-being.
If you’re struggling with anxiety and stress about upcoming exams or tests, I’d like to share some strategies and techniques that can help you deal with this challenging experience.
Exam and test anxiety can strike at any stage of life, whether it’s connected to college or university exams, driving tests, proficiency certificates or going for a promotion at work.
We’ll focus on understanding the source of your anxiety and stress, what the symptoms are, and look at applying effective, practical techniques for managing it.
Understanding Exam Stress or Test Anxiety
Let’s begin by understanding what exam stress is. It is natural to experience some nervousness or anxiety before a significant event. But if that anxiety reaches a high level, it leads to stress and affects your performance. Recognising the reasons for your stress is a helpful first step.
Common Causes of Exam Stress
- Fear of Failure – you’re afraid of not meeting your own or other people’s expectations of what you can achieve.
- Pressure to Perform – having to achieve good grades can create sense of pressure or even overwhelm.
- Time Management – juggling study schedules, extra-curricular activities, and personal life can be overwhelming.
- Perfectionism – having to be perfect can induce constant disappointment and stress.
Knowing the Signs
It is important to be aware of the signs of exam stress. They can appear in some of the following ways:
- Physical Signs – headaches, stomach discomfort, fatigue, or loss of appetite.
- Emotional Signs – feelings of hopelessness, irritability, or excessive worrying.
- Cognitive Symptoms – difficulty concentrating, racing thoughts, or memory issues.
- Behavioural Symptoms – sleep disturbances, withdrawal from social interactions, or excessive drinking or drug use.
Thinking About Your Experience
Stop for a minute and reflect on your experience with exam or test anxiety. What are the specific feelings or emotions when you think about the exams or the test? Knowing your triggers will allow us to figure out helpful coping strategies.
Therapeutic Techniques for Coping with Exam Stress
Now, let’s talk about some helpful techniques to cope with and minimize your exam stress. I’ve listed 5 self-help techniques below which can be incorporated into your daily life to help you to develop calmness and resilience. Try them all and see which is most helpful for you.
1. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Mindfulness is about being in the present moment, so you’re focused on what you’re experiencing right now, in what you’re doing, thinking and feeling. You’re not mentally predicting the future or dwelling in the past. Mindfulness practices can greatly minimize anxiety about upcoming exams or tests. Some practices to try are:
- Deep Breathing – take a few minutes to focus on your breathing. Breathe deeply in through your nose, hold for a moment, and exhale slowly through your mouth. Make your exhale longer than your inhale as this sends a signal of safety to your brain. Repeat a few times to calm your nervous system.
- Meditation – make a bit of time every day to meditate, even 5-10 minutes is helpful to calm your nervous system. You might try using an app like Headspace or Calm to guide you through mindfulness exercises.
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation – tense and then relax each muscle group in your body, starting from your toes and working up to your head. Take about 5 minutes to do this as doing this can release the physical tension associated with stress.
2. Manage Your Time Wisely
Effective time management can lift or prevent feelings of being overwhelmed. Here are some practical steps which can help you to have a clearer mind and feel more in control:
- Create a Study Plan – decide how much time you realistically have to give to study every week and then how many days per week and how much time each day you’ll give to study. Break your study material into small chunks, allocate specific times for each subject, and stick to this schedule. Use apps like https://pomofocus.io/ to help with focus and taking breaks.
- Prioritize – identify which subjects or topics require more focus or need more time to study and give them priority in your plan.
- Set Realistic Goals – Set realistic daily goals and reward small successes to keep yourself motivated.
3. Creating a Support System
Don’t downplay the importance of social support. Talk to family, friends, or classmates. Talking about how you feel can provide relief and a feeling of being connected.
- Study Groups – try joining or forming study groups. Learning in groups can minimize stress and provide different angles on the information.
- Talk to Someone – whether it’s a professional or a friend, talk to someone about your thoughts and feelings. Sharing your thoughts and feelings can help you process and reduce your anxiety.
4. Healthy Lifestyle Choices
Your physical health also affects your mental health. Here are some changes in lifestyle you might consider.
- Balanced Diet – eat healthy foods that nourish your brain. Add fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.
- Regular Exercise – Exercise releases endorphins (the feel-good chemicals), which can improve your mood. Exercise for at least 30 minutes most days.
- Sufficient Sleep – make sure to get enough sleep to allow your brain to function at its best. Sleep 7-9 hours at night and if you have trouble sleeping, establish a soothing bedtime routine.
5. Cognitive Behavioural Techniques (CBT)
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or CBT is a helpful coping mechanism for anxiety, a couple of useful self-help practices are listed below.
- Challenge Negative Thoughts – challenge negative thoughts about your abilities. Ask yourself if they are based on facts and consider alternative, positive explanations.
- Visualisation – imagine yourself passing the exam and how good you’ll feel. Imagine walking into the exam room feeling calm and confident. Visualising like this can reduce your anxiety, improve your confidence and enhance performance in your exam.
Preparing for Exam Day
As the exam day approaches, good preparation can be very helpful to reduce or eliminate stress. Keep the following points in mind to make you feel more prepared.
- Study Your Stuff – study your notes and materials a week or so prior to the exam but don’t cram. Attempt to understand the concepts, not just memorise them.
- Practice Exams – practice taking tests under timed conditions. This can help you to get more familiar with the exam format and reduce stress.
- Positive Affirmations – use affirmations to boost your confidence. Remember the preparation you’ve already done and recognise your capability. Repeating statements like “I am well-prepared” or “I can do this” can be highly effective.
To Finish Up
Exam stress is something we all face at some point in our lives, but you don’t need to let it overwhelm you.
By understanding the causes of your anxiety and stress, recognising the symptoms, and using the appropriate coping strategies, you can shift your exam experience from one of stress and anxiety to calm confidence and success.
If you’d like one-to-one help with stress or anxiety about an upcoming exam or test, please reach out to me or you might like to schedule a free 15 minute phone chat to discuss your problems and how I can help.
Don’t Feel Stressed and Anxious Any Longer
Schedule a free, no obligation consultation and take the first step towards a calmer, clearer and more confident life.