Terry’s Story of Panic Attacks in the Office
Over the phone, Terry’s wife Anne asked me to make a house call to see her husband. She told me about Terry’s increasing anxiety and now almost daily panic attacks. “He’s so reluctant to leave the house. He feels trapped. He can’t really work and he’s stopped seeing his friends.”
“Has he been to his GP?” I asked.
“Numerous times. The doctor told us it was a psychological problem then put him on anti-anxiety medication, but it’s not helping.”
I’d agreed to call that afternoon. “For now,” I said, “if his anxiety gets worse, get him to splash cold water on his face or take a shower in coldish water. Or put an ice pack on his neck or lower back” These simple methods had given fast relief to people who felt they were about to have a panic attack. “Cold can shock the nervous system and halt the panic feelings.”
When I arrived at the house Anne seemed agitated. She gestured towards the nearby room where Terry was. He was on the couch, shivering and breathing fast, eyes closed and with his knees up to his chest. A crumpled paper bag that he must have used to try regulating his breathing lay next to him on the couch.
Standing close to Terry, Anne said quietly that he didn’t like the feel of the ice.
In situations of severe anxiety verging on or even in the throes of a panic attack, a person who is told to “just calm down” may feel as though you’re suggesting that they have complete control over their symptoms.
If a person could simply calm down and stop having a panic attack, they would. You may think you are helping to redirect the person by telling him to calm down, but they don’t need comfort, they need grounding into the present.
It is very hard to relax when you are in the throes of panic because your heart is banging in your chest, you can’t get your breath, your hands are sweating, and your mind is whirling. You think you could die or even you’re actually dying or going insane. It is a sickening feeling.
Helping someone having a panic attack
If you are with someone having a panic attack, one option in how you can help the person is by directing them to concentrate on one thing.
- Get them to stand still (that is very hard when panicked because you want to run).
- Ask them to focus on one thing in the room.
- When they are focused ask them to feel the ground beneath their feet.
- Then ask them to take deep breaths.
If you are able to do that, you will have gone a long way to helping someone out of a panic attack.
Breathing and Grounding to Ease the Panic
I sat on the hard backed chair a few feet from Terry. After a minute of gentle small talk, Terry opened his eyes. Standing would have been tough for him, I surmised.
“Terry. Just know that right now, no one wants anything, and no one needs anything from you. If you like you can help yourself by paying attention to your breathing. Start with slow, deep, long breaths.”
Slowly he began to find his breath.
“Great. Now if you like, can you breathe in for a count of 4 seconds. Hold it for a second or 2. Then breathe out for a count of 6 seconds.”
Over the course of about 3 minutes, I was happy with the progress he was making.
“If you don’t mind, we’re now going to ground you? Which just means that we will do something to make you feel more in control?”
This is the 54321 method to Calm and Ground Yourself.
It works like this:
5: Acknowledge FIVE things you see around you. It could be a pen, a spot on the ceiling, anything in your surroundings.
4: Acknowledge FOUR things you can touch around you. It could be your hair, a pillow, or the ground under your feet.
3: Acknowledge THREE things you hear. This could be any external sound. If you can hear your belly rumbling that counts! Focus on things you can hear outside of your body.
2: Acknowledge TWO things you can smell. Maybe you are in your office and smell coffee, or maybe you are in your bedroom and smell a pillow. If you need to take a brief walk to find a scent you could smell soap in your bathroom, or nature outside.
1: Acknowledge ONE thing you can taste. What does the inside of your mouth taste like—gum, coffee, or the sandwich from lunch?
The Fear of Having a Panic Attack
In time Terry became calmer. More in control. “Is it okay if I ask you some questions about yourself and the anxiety?”
As we spoke, he shared that he had always been an anxious person. About 6 months ago things had got much worse when he was up for a promotion at work. Supervised presentations would be involved, and he would be evaluated on how well he performed.
While he managed them in the beginning, he soon found he dreaded even the thought of standing up in front of people. Over the following months his anxiety worsened to the point where it was affecting all parts of his life. Sleep. Relationships. Appetite. Energy. Physical health.
Coping methods of the gym then more alcohol had stopped working. That’s when the panic attacks started.
Talking it out between us, he realized, once he had one panic attack, he was terrified he would have another. “What if I have one at work in the office or while I’m trying to do a presentation. I’d be mortified for life. Laughed out of the place.”
It was fear of having the panic attack, not actually having one that upset him most.
I brought up the idea of doing a session there and then so we could work on his issues while it was flowing but he said he was not up for it. Also, he said he felt some relief just realizing that the fear of having the panic attack was in some ways worse than having the panic attack.
We agreed that we would begin therapy in a couple of days or if he felt able for it, he could come to my office. He smiled at that, thinking it wouldn’t happen, but he surprised himself and did come to the office.
In the first few sessions we worked on his panic inducing triggers and calmed his nervous system. We practiced different anxiety reducing techniques to see which worked the best for him personally.
In the end he felt much more in control, and confident that he had all the tools he needed so that if he did feel a panic attack was coming on, he could deal with it himself in the moment.
Anxiety is something most of us have experienced at least once in our life. Public speaking, performance reviews, and new job responsibilities are just some of the work-related situations that can cause even the calmest person to feel a little stressed.
Left unattended, anxiety tends to increase over time, until experiencing panic attacks become a real and very unwelcome possibility.
Here is a 3 minute audio to listen to when you’re feeling panicky or overwhelmed. It helps you to understand what’s happening and promotes calmness through simple breathing techniques to bring immediate relief.
Download the 4 minutes MP3 Panic Relief Now.
Further Reading to Understand Panic Attacks
Panic attacks can be incredibly distressing experiences, making you feel overwhelmed, fearful, and out of control. But while they’re very unpleasant, it’s important to remember that panic attacks are not actually dangerous and will pass. With the right coping techniques, you can learn to manage panic attacks and regain a sense of calm and composure.
So What is a Panic Attack?
A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear or anxiety that triggers severe physical reactions, often without a clear cause. Your brain, in particular the amygdala, feels under threat, whether from chronic stress or a particular anxiety and sends danger signals throughout your body via your nervous system. Symptoms can include:
- Rapid heartbeat
- Shortness of breath
- Chest pain
- Dizziness or lightheadedness
- Sweating and chills
- Nausea
- Feelings of unreality or detachment
- Common Triggers
While panic attacks can occur unexpectedly, some common triggers include:
- Stressful life events (e.g., job loss, work stress, relationship issues, unresolved problems)
- Major changes (e.g., moving to a new city)
- Health concerns
- Specific phobias (e.g., fear of flying, heights, presentations, social events)
- Caffeine or substance use
Here are some effective strategies for dealing with panic attacks:
- Deep Breathing
When you’re in the midst of a panic attack, your breathing often becomes rapid and shallow. Slow, deep breathing can help counteract this physiological response and send a signal to your brain to start calming down. Try to inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Make your exhale longer than your inhale.
For example breathe in for a count of 4 seconds. Hold it for a second or 2. Then breathe out for a count of 6 seconds. Repeat this beathing pattern several times until you feel calmer.
- Grounding Techniques
Grounding techniques help you shift your focus away from the panic and bring you back into the present moment. Try looking around and naming things you see, feeling the texture of an object in your hand, or describing your surroundings in detail. This can help interrupt the panic cycle and bring you back to the here and now. See the 54321 technique above.
- Positive Self-Talk
The way you talk to yourself during a panic attack can greatly influence the experience. Instead of catastrophizing or dwelling on your fear, try to be compassionate and encouraging. Remind yourself that the panic will pass, and you have the skills to get through this.
You might imagine how you would be understanding and supportive or a friend going through a similar experience, and speak and feel towards yourself in the same kind way.
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Systematically tensing and releasing different muscle groups can help release physical tension and promote overall relaxation. Start at your toes and work your way up to your face, consciously tightening and then releasing each muscle group.
Tighten and curl your toes as you breathe in for a count of four, hold for four then release the tension and exhale slowly. Repeat with your ankles, calves, thighs and on up through your body to the top of your head. Take your time over this, don’t rush it.
- Seek Support
Don’t be afraid to reach out to a trusted friend or family member during a panic attack. Talking to someone who cares and can offer understanding, and encouragement can be incredibly soothing.
If panic attacks are affecting your daily life, consider talking to a mental health professional. Therapies that are very effective for anxiety disorders including panic attacks are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Brain Working Recursive Therapy (BWRT) and Hypnotherapy.
When to Seek Help
It’s important to seek help if:
- Panic attacks are frequent and disrupting your life.
- You experience significant fear of having another attack.
- You develop avoidance behaviors (e.g., avoiding places where you previously had attacks).
In Conclusion
Panic attacks can be very frightening, but understanding what a panic attack is, what your triggers are and using effective coping strategies can bring a sense of control. Seeking support from family, friends or a mental health professional can be very helpful. With patience and practice, you can develop the tools to navigate these challenging moments and reclaim your sense of inner calm and control.
Don’t Feel Stressed and Anxious Any Longer
Schedule a free, no obligation consultation and take the first step towards a calmer, clearer and more confident life.